Battement
by shakenspeares
Summary: AU, takes place after "Our Decay." Zelena's never been good at forgiveness, especially when it comes to forgiving herself. And she's in the Underworld, after all-there's no better place to be after giving up her child and promising (to herself) never to see her again.
Zelena never forgives herself for injuring her daughter.

After her confrontation with the God of the Underworld, she goes immediately to her sister and Robin to demand they keep her baby safe at all costs. To beg they raise her with love and treat her well. To allow her to say goodbye to the only thing she'd been living for.

But she's dangerous. Her magic is too unpredictable, can't properly be controlled. It could happen again, at any time. She turns away to save her child.

Then she goes to Hades.

She steps in his home, his home of fire and brimstone and destruction, looks around at the rubble and dust and decay. _Our decay_ , he'd said to her. She sees him there, patiently waiting and watching. One gloved hand reaches out in front of her and points to the ground, sending the slightest pulse of her magic into the scorched earth. And she waits. Soon enough, a small green shoot makes its way through the dirt, leaves unfurling, tiny buds forming and opening to reveal bright blue forget-me-nots.

It's not shriveling up and dying as so many others have here. It stays vibrantly green and blue, the proud centerpiece of the room.

"It always feels a little more like home if there's something green growing," she says, and watches him smile.

She kisses Hades two days later and feels the beating of his heart underneath her hand, feels his grateful, joyful smile against her lips. The God of the Underworld allows safe passage for the Savior and their company that very same day, reassuring Zelena no harm will come to her child.

She remains in the Storybrooke he created just for her. Days are filled with strolls through the streets, wandering hours through the forests, filling the space with her magic and leaving vines and bushes and flowers in her wake. Green everywhere, wrapped around telephone lines and weaving through fences and pushing through the windows of houses and cars. She feels a little more alive.

Despite everything, she aches to see her child. But she won't bring herself to ask Hades to summon the ferry. She's too dangerous to be around her baby girl, too unpredictable; she won't let her be hurt by her own hand again.

So Hades goes in her stead. "No magic," she makes him promise. "No interfering of any kind. Just tell me how she's doing."

He gladly obliges. The first trip he makes she's beside herself with nerves as she waits, and when he pops back into the Underworld she begs for news.

"She's completely safe," he reassures her, a comforting hand on her cheek. "A healthy and happy little girl." She sobs out of relief and an intense grief that she's not there to witness it in person. They've named her Helena and she's getting bigger and stronger every day under the guiding hand of Robin and Regina.

Not even Zelena can doubt the gentle, maternal hand of her sister. She'd raised a son before and she would treat the girl as her own. But it still burned to know she couldn't do it herself.

Hades makes the trip to the Overworld every few weeks to appease her, to bring her tidings of her daughter. Years start to pass before she knows it.

When Helena is about a year old, she says her first word: "Mama." And it's aimed at Regina.

At three years of age, she starts bonding with little Neal and chasing him around play structures, hedge mazes, and gardens. She plays dress up with her father and bakes pies with her adopted mother.

When she's six, she starts preschool. She reads and reads and reads and draws pictures of her favorite book characters. Hades brings back a subtly-stolen drawing of a green woman in a black pointy hat holding a flower and she frames it next to her nightstand.

When Helena turns seven, she starts asking questions: why is the sky blue? What makes airplanes stay up? Where do babies come from? And Zelena wishes she could be there to answer all of them.

When Helena is nine, she asks more questions: why don't I have brown hair like Mommy's? Why don't I look like Roland and Daddy? And suddenly Zelena is glad she doesn't have to explain to her daughter why she's different, why she was left with her father and adopted mother. It's too painful to relive. She leaves that to Regina.

Hades returns after Helena's thirteenth birthday with news that her daughter is displaying signs of magic. More than anything she wishes she could walk her daughter through it like any other mother should. He says Regina was by her side showing her a flame in her hand and coaxing Helena to do the same. He describes how her eyes lit up when she managed a tiny spark for the first time.

Helena turns eighteen and graduates from high school with honors and high hopes for universities all over the world: London, Hong Kong, Italy, Brazil. Her magic is blossoming under Regina's tutelage and Hades says she has a knack for nature, just like her mother. Zelena grows another forget-me-not next to the original plant in her honor.

Hades' trips become less frequent after that at Zelena's request. Helena's an adult now, after all, moved out of Storybrooke and away from her family to start her own life. Her days are filled with studying and part-time jobs as she makes her way through university. Zelena tries to let her go; Helena doesn't deserve being trailed after for the rest of her days by a spectre from the Underworld, even if it's harmless. She asks for solitude so she can mourn the memory of her child in peace.

But that doesn't stop Hades from going above to keep checking on her. He comes to Zelena one day and speaks of a young man who has swept her daughter off her feet. He's asked for her hand in marriage and Helena has agreed.

As first she's furious with him—she told him to leave it all alone, to get her grieve and leave the painful memories behind.

"You had no right!" she screeches at him. "She's the only thing I allow myself to be selfish over and you had no business going behind my back like that!"

"I've watched over that girl for twenty-five years," he says quietly. She falls silent and he steps forward, taking her hands in his. "I think I deserve the right to be a little worried about her."

She looks up at him, at his empathetic eyes and his brows furrowed in concern. Concern for _her_. For twenty-five years he's looked after them both, she realizes, without a single complaint. He loves her. He tells her nearly every day and the truth of it is ever-present in his gaze. She can't believe how she's taken his hospitality, his generosity, his _love_ , for granted. Gods, she's been so selfish. And she had the audacity to be angry with _him_ …

As if he can see that inner torment that she's working through, he squeezes her hand and he leans forward, placing the most delicate of kisses upon her brow.

That breaks her all of a sudden and she feels all her misery pour out of her at once as Hades holds her, letting her sob against him until there's no more tears left to cry. He gently coaxes her to her feet, makes her some tea, and then suggests something she hasn't bothered to think about in over two decades: _Why don't we go visit her?_

He patiently waits for her answer. She contemplates the question. Through all these years she's made it her mission to control her magic, to make sure she never has another accident like that horrible day. Is she strong enough? Yes, she thinks, but maybe not strong enough to withstand the sight of her child for the first time since she was an infant. Still…to see her again…

She asks Hades to summon the ferry the next day. She dresses somberly in something appropriate for the Overworld, as does Hades. He'd said nothing the night before when she told him she wanted him with her, to support her. And once again, she marvels at his willingness to be by her side.

The ferry arrives, surprisingly, in Storybrooke. When Zelena casts him a questioning look, he confesses he witnessed Helena move back to her hometown quite some time ago to settle down with her new family and be near her old one. She can't help but think it fitting that her daughter would return to the one place that connected them both.

They walk unseen through the town under a notice-me-not spell of her own devising, not wishing to run into anyone familiar. Though they haven't been seen in over twenty years, it still wouldn't do well for the God of the Underworld and the Wicked Witch to return to the scene of their crimes. They pass Rumplestiltskin's shop and Zelena can't help but peek inside: the Dark One is conversing with two brown-haired young adults—his children, she assumes—with his wife by his side. She tears her gaze away from the little family and they continue down the street.

Snow White is the first of the hero group that they see, standing outside of Granny's and talking amiably to a young man—Neal. His arms are full of a bundle of blankets and he appears eager to head into the diner. Hades stops then, his curiosity obviously peaked, and they look into the windows at the gathering of people inside. Practically everyone in the town is jammed into booths or situated at the countertop, eating slices of cake and chatting with one another. It's obviously a birthday party and a blonde woman centered at the biggest table—her hair streaked with grey, a ring adorning her left hand—graciously allows a party hat to be placed on her head by her husband. Emma Swan kisses the pirate and laughs when she shoves a piece of her cake into his face. Zelena can see Regina and Robin nearby, as well as Henry and a woman who she assumes is his wife. Helena isn't among them.

Hades steers her away from the joyful atmosphere and she silently thanks him. Even if her years apart from them had dulled her hatred, it still makes her sick to think that they could be so happy, so complete, when she has nothing.

No, _not_ nothing, she reprimands herself. She squeezes Hades' arm a bit tighter and they keep walking.

He turns them down a side street and into a smaller neighborhood with perfect picket fence houses and steel mailboxes and monotone paint jobs—all except for one house. Its door is a deep emerald green and the exterior of the dwelling is forget-me-not blue. In the driveway is a pair of bicycles just waiting to be ridden and she suppresses the urge to touch them. She feels Hades drop her hand as she steps forward. He knows she needs to try and do it by herself.

A shaking hand hovers over the doorbell and she looks back at him, suddenly frightened. Calm as ever, he nods towards the door. _Go on. You can do this_.

Taking a deep breath, she presses the bell. A chime goes off inside and a dog barks and footsteps come closer and closer, the air freezing in her lungs when there's an audible _click_ and the door swings open—

—and she's standing there. Her baby. Her Helena.

Every part of the young woman is a reflection of herself: red hair, blue eyes, angular face. She's a bit shorter and her cheeks a little more filled in but other than that it's as though she's looking in a mirror.

Helena's wide eyes take in the woman in front of her and Zelena is stunned when her daughter's face loses its initial surprise and she smiles.

"Hello, Mother."

She's rendered speechless. Helena just continues to smile and extends an offer to step inside for coffee and a talk. She barely remembers the walk to the living room or the mug that's put in her hands, and the only thing that snaps her out of her shock is the small tap on her shoulder to get her attention.

The first thing Helena tells her is that Hades was the one to reveal her true parentage and the thought to strangle the meddling God crosses her mind briefly before listening again. Apparently he'd been doing more than just quietly observing—in fact, he'd become rather like a fairy godmother, Helena confesses with a grin, and Zelena can't help but laugh. He'd be horrified if he knew that was his title to her.

"I remember one night, when I was about six, laying in my bed reading," she reminisces, "and there was a thunderstorm going on outside and I was so scared and I didn't want to bother Mom and Dad…my window blew open and I remember screaming and covering my face…and then the wind stopped. Like, completely stopped. And when I opened my eyes, a man was standing in my room. He said his name was Hades and he was going to make sure nothing bad happened to me."

And he'd been doing it ever since, it seemed. Helena recounts multiple tales of the unlikely guardian angel appearing when he was needed most—and even when he wasn't needed. Her daughter tells of days playing tea parties in her darkened room with him, books left on her nightstand for her to find in the mornings, flowers in a vase on her window to be found on every birthday—always beautiful blue forget-me-nots.

"He told me all about you," she says, and reaches out to clasp her hand tightly and she feels breathless again. "He told me how you love gardening and reading late at night just like I do, and how you prefer coffee over tea. He said you weren't quite ready to see me yet because you were working on something important. I understand that now."

"You do?" She's finally found her voice, and that's as close as she can get to asking the one thing she's always wanted to know.

And her dear, sweet girl nods like it's the simplest thing in the world. "I forgive you, Mother. You don't have to be scared anymore."

Just hearing those words awakens something in Zelena she hasn't felt in decades: hope. It blossoms so brightly in the center of her chest she feels as though it may burst. She doesn't realize she's crying until Helena shifts closer and hugs her tightly and she finally, _finally_ , after twenty-five years, gets to hold her baby again.

She knows they have a lot to discuss and get through; being absent for the majority of her life deems a substantial chunk of time to catch up and get acquainted with one another (and Helena firmly states she wants her birth mother in her life, she doesn't get to say no and Zelena is only too happy to agree). But they have all the time in the world. They can do this together.

When they part, Helena shyly asks to see Hades again—after all, it's been years since she's seen him—and as soon as the words are out of her mouth there's a succinct rapping at the door and the God himself strides in, greeting the two with a smile. He says hello to Helena and she offers to shake his hand but he skips that entirely and hugs the young woman, and for a moment all Zelena can see is a father hugging his child and her heart thumps painfully in her chest. Oh, how they've wasted so much time…

Hades launches into questions about school and life after university and broaches the subject of the man she has married. Helena fires inquiries back just as quickly to the two of them and Zelena is careful not to reveal too much of her past as is Hades, for which she is thankful. He knows all too well to take it slow. And no doubt Regina and Robin have already told her enough to fill in the blanks of Storybrooke's rather colorful history, herself included. Mercifully, the major events of the past are avoided and they carry on talking for hours. The sun is just starting to slip below the horizon when Zelena realizes how long they've been there and reluctantly tells her daughter they need to depart.

Helena hugs her tightly as they stand in the foyer. "You'll be back soon?" she asks.

"Of course," Zelena replies at once, because now that her child is back in her life there's no possible way she's letting her go again. "I'll be back whenever you want me."

With several more hugs and the promise that they'll be back in a few days' time, Hades and Zelena begin their trek back to the lake led by the faint beams of moonlight in the sky. There's a comfortable silence between them that's only broken by the _click_ of her heels on the pavement and the distant sounds of the party still going on at Granny's. The night air is calm and cool and she remembers how much she misses this place that was once the bane of her existence, her prison and reason for hating her sister. Now it feels like a second home, welcoming her back with a gentle breeze and the rustle of the trees and the starlight above. Her daughter is back in her life and the man she loves is at her side. She hasn't felt this light in her entire life.

She glances at the God beside her and wonders how he's done it for so long. How he's managed to stay tied to the Underworld for eons and be surrounded by dust and stale air and flame. And that's when she realizes why he'd been so eager to dethrone his elder brother all those years ago. He loves being above his domain just as she does, misses the feel of the wind and the energy that only comes when standing in the center of a street crowded by living souls. Being the God of the Underworld meant he would remain tethered to his position, no matter how much time he spent above.

He catches her gaze and smiles at her and she looks back at him with a newfound understanding. He's given up so much to be with her. All of his revenge is gone, has been gone for a long time. Just so he can love her without consequence.

They finally approach the lake and Hades flicks his wrist to summon the ferry. It appears as it always does in its cloud of fog, soundlessly gliding across the water until it comes to a stop against the shoreline and the cloaked figure on board bows deeply to them. Hades helps her aboard and they stand side by side as they quietly descend into the Underworld. The lake returns to stillness once more behind them.

"When did you tell her?" she asks, breaking the silence. "When did you tell her about me?"

Hades looks at her with the smallest of smiles touching his lips. He takes her hands in his and squeezes tightly.

"The night of the thunderstorm."

She kisses him, feels the steady pulse of his heart under her fingertips. Whole. Alive.

It's been that way for twenty-five years. And she's grateful for every beat it makes.

 _END_

Notes:

Man, this ship literally grabbed me by the hands and hog-tied me to my computer until I finished this. Was anyone else totally swept off their feet by that episode, or was that just me?

But anyway, there you have it-my first venture into the realm of writing for OUAT. I think I'd like to make a companion piece to this about Hades' visits to Zelena's child; I feel there's a relationship dying to be explored there.

Thank you for reading! Reviews are always welcomed. :)


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